MAGAZINE

Last Man:

Back on the road I started to think,
"After all these years, what made that stink?"
'Cuz for a long time i've done all this rodding,
And happily done it without any prodding.....
The traditional way that I spend my summer
Had now become a bit of a bummer.

***

Well, in the beginning, and still goin' to school,
Having a hotrod seemed pretty cool....
It was just a jalopy with more function than form,
But we really dug it; it wasn't the norm.

This was the deal with a rodder back then...
A halfway good citizen who still didn't fit in;
Kind of an outcast (the whole James Dean deal)
The rods had kind of a rebels appeal.

Along came the sixties; the rods weren't too hot,
Everyone was hippies and into their pot!
We that still drove those rods that we dug
Were no longer outlaws - and just got a shrug!
We and our buddies were havin' a ball,
And the rest of the world wasn't jealous at all!

**

Then in the seventies the boomers were grown,
Raisin' their families and out on their own;
Starting a business, and having some luck,
Making the mortgage, and still havin' a buck.

Where would they spend it? They had several bets:
Golfing, or tennis, or classic corvettes?
"Yeah, like in high school...those really cool rods...
Always out racin' and cruisin' for broads...

Those cats were hep, they had their own style...
Let's get a T Bucket and try that a while!
Now that I'm thirty, and I've paid my dues,
A rod would look good with my white belt and shoes."

So they all got started, and we welcomed them in,
But there soon developed a shortage of tin.
A new innovation, they made them from 'glass,
Which by now is accepted (but i'm going to pass),
We ran out of steelies for all their new deals,
So they started using aluminum wheels.

Along the way we kind of forgot........
About what it was, that was really hot !!!
We go to the fairgrounds and open the hood
Ladies with strollers say "that looks sooo good!"
We get out our beach chair (it matches the paint)
And snuggle right in it and be who we ain't....

We prob'ly just bought it! Don't know how to fillit,
But can tell all the details of who did the billet!
Telling the fans it's worth this much money,
It would prob'ly disgust me if it wasn't so funny!

***

But back to the train of my original thought,
I do have a point that I probably ought...
To share with you, about what made me think....
About what it was that made all that stink!

It truthfully doesn't!!!

It's just not my style.
So if I remember and ponder a while...
The thing that was bitchin about cars (built or bought)
Is that we didn't care what other folks thought.

**

If I was the very last person on earth,
And the roads were clear and gas wasn't in dearth,
I don't really think i'd use your new caddy
(Who'd need to look like a cool-livin' daddy?)
I'd still be drivin' my roadster 'cross town
(If I even still wanted to still get around)

With all this high-thinkin', i'm out on the road...
The fairgrounds behind me, i'm in roadster mode....
The mirrors are set...i raise my head higher,
So I see the tops of all four of my tires..
On either side of a punched 3-piece hood
Those two little kingbees are vibratin' good...

I'm watching this scene through a windshield that's split
When my hearing turns on, and I realize it...
Sounds good too! The tailpipes are hummin'.....
My fingers are on the steering wheel drummin'
The tires are slappin' at pavement repairs,
And the wind's disrupting whats left of my hair...

With noone around - and for pleasure to hear,
I push inthe clutch and grab me a gear!
I wind up the engine and listen to r's
(I do it for nothing, I'm not passing cars!)
The problems behind me don't even exist
I can't remember what had me so pissed!

Cruising along, feeling at peace,
Enjoying a kind of psychic release,
A guy who's in tune with a simple machine,
Traditional gear heads will know what I mean,
When I tell 'em, "pal, for what it is worth,
Me and my roadster are......
     ....the last two on Earth!"