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Rattle Can Nationals
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Hop Up MAGAZINE

2002

Mort's Shorts

MORT'S SHORTS

We 'been looking at the hot/street rod world and...sorry.....there is some shitty taste exhibited out there. Some of it is the artistic expression of really nice people and we like really nice people.............. but we like them for their personality and character. Not for their style.

If, only because a fella has endeared himself to you, you feel compelled to publish pictures of his rig, or swear he is a 'real hot rodder' (or include him in your invite-only rod stop?) but his piece is hokey....then you have sold out. (We, too, are reading our own words, here, Boys) There are other ways to embrace really nice people. How 'bout a nice lunch? How 'bout get them a subscription to American Heritage? A nice Holiday greeting card with sincere oaths of affinity?

A pat on the back.

We don't choose modern design in hot/street rods as our own way to go, but we'll betcha $500 we could improve the look of some of the smoothies we see. They wouldn't be more traditional with our august assistance, but they would be more correct .There is living, visible, bankable, affidavit-worthy proof that some smoothie owners are so new to things they can't even get their own style right! The best of that genre, done by most of the pros (without input from the client) is handsome stuff; bitchin stuff. But let a Newby with a bunch of money engage a contractor - a contractor who rolls-over artistically to please the customer?

Gag-a-maggot.

Pros from the traditional end need to be firm, too: we been nerfed (gently) by our mentors and reckon that that gag isn't all over for us yet, either.

If there is no sell-out to advertisers; if there is no sell-out to trends; if there is no sell-out to wallets or fame, then those who remain ......as consumer, publisher, contractor, artisan, hobbyist.....practitioner......are collectively pure, collectively in good taste, and collectively few in number. (Sounds like y'all.)

Those compromises in taste are suffered in the publishing business in the name of reporting, we reckon. They must be. They must be, because each and every one of the writer/photographers doing the work knows better artistically, but to put as much out there as you need to every month - or two - or three.........you gotta include some turds. You gotta embrace a wider range of participants, and you gotta embrace their suppliers, and if the rationalization is that you are reporting, you can include it. It's bidness.

Caveat. If you represent yourself as a chronicler of correctness, though? You gotta be selective and you gotta be correct........and you gotta........... gotta ...yeah.... what you 'gotta' is you 'gotta'...... tiny frickin' audience out there.

Maybe that's why we only sell 18 books a year?

18?

Which one of you dicks is holdin' out?

en hopup veritas


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