MAGAZINE

T 'n' A 'n' 18?

How is it a family (who are they? Mom, Dad,and a kid? Two brothers, one daughter? Dad and two kids?) has is so all together?

And where did the iron-lineage begin? Did Grandpa hop up something on the farm to make it get through the furrows easier? And the son took it out and wreaked havoc on the local dirt roads when Pop went to town? This has to be an interesting story to follow. At this point we only have these BONEROO cars to show you with the cryptic notes attached.

THIS OLD TIME HOT ROD IS POWERED BY A WINFIELD- EQUIPPED 'A' MOTOR AND A HILLER OVERDRIVE. CHARLIE RUNS WITH THE 'TIE RODS' "

"ALL STEEL '32 FIVE WINDOW ROAMS THE STREETS THE SAME AS IT DID IN THE 50'S. CHEVY 283/POWERGLIDE."

'31 WITH FLATHEAD ON DEUCE RAILS IS PERFECT PRE-WAR HOT ROD.

Caption Contest

The next time you tailgate ME, sucker, I'll push this-here button and this depth charge behind my seat will be in your *&^%$#* lap!" Submitted by Jim Bellamy of Vaughn, Wa.

Runner up was:

"WHAT THE HELL IS GRAY POUPON?"

DON'T SAY ANYTHING. JUST NOD.

COMING SOON TO A DRIVE-IN NEAR YOU

The right guy for the job.

We wish we'da thought of that. Lowered like the illustrators usta lower 'em in the ads. Did ya ever notice that cars are always LOWER when the designer draws them, and when the advertiser's illustrator draws them for the ad? Then they get RAISED up by the engineers who couldn't figure out yet how to combine the look with the mushy ride that was apparently required in the marketplace, and Hop Up guys have t'go on and figure it out FOR 'em. Then we talk to some older guy who looks at our deuce sedan and says, "It's nice but I don't like 'em lowered like that."

Here we have testimony that Philistines let the FAMILIAR become the CORRECT to them; if they are used to it, they think that's the way it's supposed to be. Remember THAT, when you open your mind up and look at some 50's Detroit iron. Look at it like you were a European....hadn't grown up with the things. Some REAL POPULAR IRON is actually pitiful. Then customizers came along and SAVED 'em. Cars look better lowered and I don't give a foolish-flock WHAT Grandpa says.

Graves is the leader of the lowered." Ya can't have it both ways, says he. "I'll go with low." So saith the lowered. The Brougham is low, and black and stainless and just about out of Whitey Morgan's trim shop.

While we wait, let's visualize a Summer Saturday: Richard and Pal Steve Bell, and their two ladies go for out to dinner. Casual. In the Brougham "Where you wanna go?" "How 'bout Papa's?" "OK"

After dinner, the sun has just set over the Pacific, it's still about 74 degrees outside, Richard finesses the Brougham through the driveway - finesses it because it's slammed anyway and our Boys are no lightweights, and no one says anything about what we're going to do next, because we know...........we gonna cruise PCH. Maybe stop for an after- dinner drink at some place where you can get a table with a view of the ocean on one side and a view of the Cad on the other.

At PCH and Second Street he pulls up to the stop sign and they're joined by 4 Harleys - not your RUBY kinds, but cats what probably were ridin' before it went public. The riders know they're overtaking a double date, summer attire and all and.....well, wouldn't YOU maybe cop a look down into the car to see if the ladies are skirted-out? But something makes them survey the DUDES first........................the Dudes look more like bikers than THEY do!! Bell is the real article, years of bike racing behind him, full-on Harley rider and looks the part. He was denied a motel room a few months ago because "We don't cotton to no bikers". And burley. They both got longish hair and beards an the Burleys. And the bikers take pains to nod the "I approve of your ride" nod. And they don't cop looks at the ladies. Discretion is the.......well.....you know. Our folks pull away, diggin' on some music, up a little loud - not Boom Box loud, just loud enough, because they're runnin Hard Top. Windows down. And lookin' so good.

Oh, did we tell you these are Hop Up Guys? And Gals? Whoa Dadddy!

Through Seal Beach and into Sunset Beach, an impromptu stop at "Mother's" finds the Cad in good company. There's an un-chopped '50 Merc parked next to the building: Primered, lowered and no window glass except the windshield. Work in progress. A young man in shades (the sun never sets on the cool) comes out of the saloon and "Hey! Dude! I heard about this Brougham. You Graves?"

"Um Hmmmm. That your Merc?"

"Yeah, well , I'm workin' on it."

"Looks OK to us like it is, Bub."

Pull out after the Merc. Music was too loud in there. Head for Huntington.

Lucky day. A parking spot right in front of Duke's. Leave the car, go finish the entertainment portion of the evening, all the while looking forward to the smoooooothe ride home. You can fill in the rest. It's all apocryphal, anywho. (Wiley always says ANYWHO, remember?)

But the Cad is a valet car. It's civilized enough for a valet to drive it. And it's BAD enough that the valets will fight over it. Big, bad-ass mild custom...'Got the look.....Got the moves......Got the action...........Growin' old gracefully.

Takes practice, don't it, Boys? You'll see it first in HOP UP.