MAGAZINE

A guy said to me once, "They weren't that low, you know?"

Gee, that must've been the only thing I didn't know about hot rods (?). I'll start adding some leaves tonight! Give us a break, 'Madame'.

It's an individual design exercise, even when we are rehashing done deals. Do it your own way and if some tactless dimbulb offers an uninvited critique, well, you know. That guy won't be sitting on a crate in your garage tonight, looking the piece over, subliminally pondering tire clearance, attitude, pipe placement (notice how some exhaust systems hang below the frame rails? Hmmmmm.), chop...aesthetics. You've set yours up to please you and if - for you - the perfect ride height looks like it came out of a Don Montgomery book, and you got that, you are a success. Happening, Man. Your fulfillment pleases me.

If your ride has 20" faux Americans on it and o-ring tires..and that's what you were after? Bitchin. .....a different style doesn't make it bad taste.......just a different, but probably well executed, approach.

Doesn't mean, either, that there aren't still lots of tasteless fucks out there too, now, does it?

So. I gotta be me. I gotta have it my way and if a few select people agree, so much the better. And I think you gotta be you. There is a whole lot of cars out there that I wouldn't want but (we've said this, I know) I'm glad he's got it, so I can look at it and appreciate it. Just wouldn't want the turd taking up my limited parking space.

Bottom line? I'm gonna want a closed car with decent ride, crate motor and (oh boy, don't hurt me for this) automatic transmission, air conditioning, front (concealed) disc brakes, resto-rod lookin' and......this is kind of a confession, ain't it?

I respectfully ask for no shit over it.

See, I'm old and I hurt when I fold up, and I sweat when it's real hot. And I want to be able to hear Golden Earring when I'm goin' 80. And I want the Rain-Ex to be an additional convenience instead of a sole resource. Yes, gonna run a wiper. Maybe two.

I wanna be able to lock my knees once in a while, and carry enough luggage that I don't have to buy a rod run T shirt every day just to be clean. Did I say that I want to be able to hear the music with the drone of a crate motor in the background? Guess I did.

Wow, a breakthrough. A road warrior. It'll be a back row car, but we don't like shin-digs with more than a couple rows, anywho.

It will have louvers, wishbones, squish, loud pipes and all but it probably won't stand out. Isn't that OK? We think the deal is to please the guy inside the car. Mercedes usta say that, when the cars were ugly. Even though this piece shouldn't be ugly.....it should still be all about pleasing the guy behind the banjo wheel. We dream more about fast runs on deserted highways with no one watchin', than we do cruisin' the fairgrounds.(Fraud-rodders oughta think about that......)

A car like that would make it easier to tour, which is what we want to do the most.

Doesn't mean we lost our direction entirely. A clapped-out open car with a banger in it is still more fun. So we don't think we've sold out.....our favorite, most passionate interest is in the most traditional rods and customs, and the girly-car would be the first to go in a fire sale but........... it's like Roy said to Dale:

" OK, I'll tie up with you, wear the scarf and go to the barn dance and all, but.......my..... heart will still belong to Trigger".

Hop Up Honor.................kinda?