MAGAZINE

WHAT'S HAPPENING

DON'T ATTEMPT THIS AT HOME. OR ANYWHERE ELSE

Squint your eyes when looking at one of the notable rat rods in our midst, believe that it's painted and chromed and, By Gum. By Golly. Oakland 1955. It'll have the look. The shape. It is correct. The rat rod gag is, "If you don't get it, then you weren't the one we wanted to get it." It is a pleasure to have the morons on the street look at you with a measure of pity and say ,"She'll be pretty slick when you get a coat of paint on 'er!". Their intent is to compliment, and the fact that they're off base is OK. After all, you're the few. The cool. Hop Up Folks.

It is possible to miss it on modifieds, too. They won't all be right. There ought to be a committee, to which the uncertain send renderings of their concepts for pre-approval. We could nominate three to five guys who have The Eye. Having watched The Eye in practice over the years, we do lots off studying. Lots of visual-perspective-exercises to develop our own compromised abilities........it's out of fear that if we get it wrong, some Pal with the "Eye" will notice, and not tell us!. Yeah, yeah, I know, we're supposed to be so cool that the other guy's opinion doesn't matter. Don't believe all of our rhetoric, here. It depends who the other guy is. If he is one of the few people who you know for certain-sure has the eye; has the touch, you gotta want approval. Key to the whole mess is that there can only be a tiny handful of these people in your world or you could be a real loser.. The degree of cool is inversely proportional to the number of others to whom your actions are directed.

DOES NOT PASS THE SQUINT TEST

Our Ardun-floggin' roadster buddy Dave Lukkari sent some snaps of his latest cross country chingo that included some unique pieces, which inspired the above tirade. Look at some of this stuff. It's like a chemist trying to develop a salve for dry skin, and in the pot-luck of 'little dab o' dis, dab o' dat", blowing his fingers off.. Primered tractors don't make it as hot rods.

Real magazines have skirted the realities of the look for ever. They must be deathly affraid that one of the offendees won't re-subscribe (we don't have that problem here, do we?). Or that the offendee might be using some product of one of the advertizers. There are basic precepts of correct that go un-mentioned because they are so often violated. The style that most of the successful builders exhibit is pretty much out of an understanding of the look. Some back yard people miss it. You might say "Let 'em die stupid. It makes us look better." But we'd rather all of 'em got it right. The Hop Up Ten Recommendations will include some "look" ideas. Did you doubt it?

So, you James Dean-Fonzi-Brando iconoclasts, go out to your shop and smoke 'em over. Look at the thing and see if it has the "sits right" stance. See if it has mixed metaphors that might ball it up.See if you forgot the obvious. Especially if it's something that only you will ever see. If you allowed something shitty, something half-fast-ened, only because no one will ever see it, you wouldn't be Da Man. Da Hop Up Man.

Go out 100 feet to gape at your short. Squint, make believe it isn't yours. Is something weird hanging out? Do the tire size, width and height do right by the rest of the car? Do the tire centers find themselves in the center of the fender? Did you set it up so that the radiator shell is too far forward and looks like a FWD truck? Does the fender edge cover the top edge of the tire? It should . Sometimes the familiar becomes the correct in our minds because it is our own. But that can't happen here...........We're preachin' to the choir....You Goons don't miss it.

You are it.

Billet rods ain't doodley-squat.

RCRRIV

WE BAD

WHAT YEAR WAS THIS, EXACTLY?

LET'S GO BACK THERE TODAY!!!

DOES KEVIN OWN EVERY COOL MODEL 40 IN TOWN?

MID-WINTER ROD RUN

The accidental popularity of the run in the eighties, made it become a "Rod stop" instead of a rod run. (Somebody heard that line a few years ago, 'borrowed' it, and calls it rod park, but it's still our gag.) So they started charging a few bucks, eliminated the run portion, eventually fenced it off, and promptly got in a pissin' contest with the city, merchants, and others, who were nervous that someone might be making money.

So they decided to move it to another location.

Key to all this is that for about thirty years, these Real Hot Rod types had been doing this gig, and it was the First run of the year. Every year. Nothing happened before the last weekend in February because of inclement weather and if it was anything of consequence, there would be money at risk. There's that word-money- again. So nothing preceeded the Mid-Winter Rod Run.

So this year ('93 or so?) it is moved one city over.

And another club makes a deal with city #1 to host the rod run.

What is this? Competition between clubs for a run? Oh, well. Let 'em have it. The ET's have only invested 28 years in this.

Here's the rub. The other club ( billet, power park, buy-and-sell) chose the weekend before the ET deal. How utterly chicken-shit. How arrogant and competitive. Unheard of in the community of hot rodders (no matter what discipline they enjoy).

The attending public and rodders don't really know, notice or care who puts it on. They get the fliers, and go to the first event on the calendar; they may know that there is one in city #2 on the following weekend, but they've shot this month's wad already and they stay home the next weekend.

There are 50 other weekends these hilljacks could have chosen.

Now we have something in the hobby that hadn't occured to me: animosity between clubs.

We began to examine who was who, and realized that, instead of passively and subliminally co-existing with the new comers to the hobby, we now noticed that they had a different style. A different psyche. A different goal. These guys were street rodders.Their cars didn't make us differentiate.Their total absence of character was the defining issue.

It isn't about doing the cars differently. We had admired the evolution of the smoothie for 10 years. "I'm glad that cat did that car. It's bitchin. I just don't want one of 'em."

Then this club of them stood out, slapped us into the realization that there was a difference. There are street rodders. And there are hot rodders.

It's one reason there's a Hop Up today. Turn to yourselves for the enjoyment of the hobby and maybe the carpetbaggers will rediscover disco.

HOLIDAY TOUR

Real car people populate this kind-of-closely-held tour put on by a Horseless Carriage Club. Your piece needs to be pre-32 just to tag along, and it is a perfect day of scenic vistas, super double-throw-down luxo-houses, challenging (for oldsters) roadways and a microcosm of Harrah's old collection right here on city streets.

HOP UP GUY'S 'BREAKFAST CAR 'DEBUT

A few familiar faces will turn up, wrappped in "Who'd a thought" rides that say to us, "Hey he's really a car guy - someone who has interests that go deeper than rods" If your core is right, you respect, maybe even covet these cars. But it is just another day of 'pretend'. Pretend your car is modern transportation (but you inderstand it, like it with all its' smells, leaks and peculiarities) and you are enjoying a drive back 'then'. Look around you, and , like in a hot rod chingo, all the cars around are of a similar ilk......... you're a happening dude.

Factor in a beautiful day and historical, nostalgic, scenic community and - we've done it again. Give me more o' this.

MAJOR HOT ROD GUY BROUGHT OUT HIS "DEUCE" AUBURN SPEEDSTER

This article is not intended to clue the Unwashed as to what to do next. Please. If you are imagination-impaired, don't use your wallet to jump in and "Out Classic" us. You know, this might just be bait........................... to see who's readin' our mail.

So it is with yet another pure event. Major in participant, minor in spectator. What is it about motorsport that makes all this figure so beautifully?

I'D LIKE TO TAKE THIS HOTROD ON A RELIABILITY RUN - TO IOWA

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